Dear New Orleans

I am sorry I have been away for so long. I didn't realize how I missed you until I came back for a visit. I've missed you oodles and lots.

Many thanks to the lovely Miss Layla. Thanks for insisting that I not grab the best shrimp po' boy that I have had in 10 years as take out but sit down and enjoy the evening. Excellent call...nearly as excellent at the sazeracs and the conversation.

I have learned my lesson...I will not allow myself to go so long without a visit.

Love,

Jules

Today...

...would have been my dad's 65th birthday. The world is a far worse place because he isn't in it.

Hot, Molten Week of Crazy

Now is the time of year where I pay for moving just far enough away from home that it makes sense for me to drive home for the holidays. If the weather cooperates...My mom has already said she will put the kibosh on my commute home for Thanksgiving if the weather is bad...my travels will go a little something like this.

Tuesday...Drive the 5-6 hours from Cleveland to Oak Hill with detour for lunch with Josh.

Wednesday...Putz around my hometown, dump cup of "Girlie" coffee on my dad's grave per my own tradition and try to avoid scene like last year, procure a new WVU T-shirt as I am swimming in mine, and hang out with my family while keeping my "No, I don't want a piece of (Insert Treat Here)" reflexes in full effect.

Thursday...Help with Turkey Day festivities, have dinner, drive the hopefully 4.5-5 hours from Oak Hill to Cleveland, sleep.

Friday...Pack for wedding and weeks worth of business meetings, take cab to airport, fly to New Orleans via Houston (Pray for Upgrade), track down shrimp po' boy, spend night in the French Quarter!

Saturday...Go to Cafe du Monde for breakfast, check out of "free" hotel, jaunt across town to wedding hotel with PF, Jeannine's wedding!

Sunday...Get all cobwebs cleared...walk around NOLA, take cab to airport, fly to Nashville via Houston (Pray for Upgrade), check in to The Gaylord, pass out from exhaustion!

Monday-Friday...endure Management Training Program, remind myself that this is for the good of my career, play well with others and be optimistic, turn 34.

Glamorous...huh?

Dear Target...

I believe that we have a situation here. I think our relationship may be a wee bit unhealthy for one of us. Now in all fairness to you; we are no where near the abusive relationship that I am currently in with my country...but it isn't good.

I would very much like one of the economists that is saying that consumer spending is down to follow me in your well lit aisles. There is no downward trending there...just good old fashioned purchasing of goods. Plus, since I am taking a break from using the credit cards...it is all cash all the time.

Did I need a cowl neck sweater? Maybe? Did I need two of them is very similar shades of green? Probably not...but they were only $16.99. I really didn't need the $12.99 fleece jacket...but come on $12.99 and it can be added to the clothes that actually fit me category (the shrinking amazon thing is a pain...shrinking good...nothing that fits bad). A girl can never have too many pair of socks; especially when she travels as much as I do. Since the weather has decided to be fall like, I really did need a pair of running/training pants. I needed gum. I needed a Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte. I believe that there is a pattern here.

I did, however, need a new pair of black boots. Apparently, my feet are shrinking. I have no idea what the hell that is all about. Seeing as how the boots that I really desire are ten times as much as the ones I bought from you...I'm really truly ahead of the game. Plus, they are fierce and will assist me in much ass kicking.

Target...I know that I will never be able to break up with you. I doubt that we could even survive a break...I wouldn't do well. Could you help me out in some way? Could you at least put the things that I decide that I need on sale? Quit pandering to the kids and their parents...they will never love you like I do.

Regards,
Jules

I Got My Vote On

I went and voted yesterday! Since my job is steadily becoming my life, I am out of town on Tuesday. This was the first year that I have lived in Ohio that you could "early vote". I'm still trying to figure out why I could only vote downtown at the Board of Elections...but maybe that is a kink that they will work out for the next time.

I will say this although it took me two and a half hours to vote...I never stood in one place for longer than about ten minutes. When I got in line...the line was about two city blocks long...it was really moving to see this many people participating. It was a veritable Beneton ad...White, Black Latino, Asian, men, women, young, and old. I was very excited to see as many young voters as I did...as they tend to get a bad wrap for not showing up.

I stood in line with the very lovely Miss Maxine. She was in her Sunday finest with her daughter and granddaughter...three generations in line to vote. Talking with Miss Maxine was the highlight of my day. She was so exited to vote that she kept dabbing at her eyes as we talking about the meaning of this particular election. This was a woman who was born before women had the right to vote, who was charged a poll tax in more than one election, and lived to see the day when she could vote for a president that looked like her. I'm glad that she got to see that day as well.

The worker from the Board of Elections said that they had already early voted some 60,000 people and that they were expecting another 5,000-6,000 yesterday. As I dropped my ballot in the box I gave a kiss for luck and asked the election gods to please make sure that it counted. I have my "I voted today" sticker on a piece of wax paper so that I can wear it on Tuesday, even though I won't be at home.

Jules Hearts the Library

I have always loved going to the library. My original library card is still on file at the Herbert E. Jones library in my hometown. I've probably spent months in that building if you add all of the time together. At one point it felt like I had read everything that there was to read in those shelves.


I loved the library at Wheeling Jesuit as well. I loved the fact that they could track down what ever books I needed. If there was an obscure journal article that struck my fancy the librarians could get it for me. I loved hiding in the back corners where the fiction lived...never was as happening a place as the research section; but it afforded pleasant distractions from my studies. I would not have a 10+ year love affair with Nick Hornby novels if it weren't for a copy of High Fidelity distracting me from writing my thesis.


My current library, Westlake Porter, is the number 2 library of it's size in the country. It is a posh suburban number. You could probably fit the library of my childhood in it twice. Even though it is shiny and state of the art...I love it as well. I love the room of new releases...all of these brand new books that I wouldn't pay any attention to at a book store catch my attention. Some of them are brilliant and some of them aren't my cup of tea. I love that 9 times out of 10 when I've mentioned something that I was looking for that they didn't have...they've ordered it.


I also love watching the people...watching them pick out their books; especially the kids. I generally don't have much use for small children that aren't related to me, but at the library I like them. I love how they are so excited for story time. I like watching them chew on their bottom lip as they are picking out the book they get to check out. Their tiny faces have such a look of concentration...that it makes me smile as I realize that I am making the exact same face.

Are You Kidding Me?

I've spent the past couple of weeks working in a center with a laundry list of issues trying to help get them squared away. They have had all of the staff turn over. They work with a very difficult population of students, 98% have multiple issue IEPs. Just bad all the way around. They are getting better...they are working on getting the right people in the right places and if everyone can locate and get their shit together things will be fine.

There is a kid there that has been diagnosed with one of the Autism Spectrum Disorders...and it isn't on said kid's IEP. How do you not address this. You will put down that said kid doesn't interact well with peers and get all hot and bothered that the kid isn't making progress on that front. Here's a news flash you freakin' idiot...the kid isn't wired for social interaction. I was so angry talking to the "professional" who needs to evaluate progress...that I walked away for fear of calling said person names or placing said person's head through an inanimate object. Unfucking believable!

Updates...

I know that I have been scarce as of late, but not much has been going on in my world. I got to luxuriate in 3 whole weeks of not traveling for work; at which time I was on the down low...Benedictine monks were getting out more. After traveling for 9 consecutive weeks with 3 weeks of not even making it home on the weekends, I had 0% desire to do anything.

I am now in the middle of what will probably end up being 3 straight weeks of being back on the road; mercifully the mandatory attendance family wedding will break up what could have turned into another 7 week workfest. I am in the process of helping to salvage a large contract in metro Atlanta. The village idiots were left in charge and they did everything but burn the house down. I love cleaning up after others!

I swear I'm trying to become a runner!

I thought I would update my vast (ironic) readership on how the running is going. I am getting ready to start week 4 of my Couch to 5K training program. This week's fresh hell has 5 minute running stretches at a time...I only think there are two of them mixed in amongst some shorter ones. Seeing as how I was sucking massive amounts of wind during today's 3 minute run; I hold little optimism for the 5 minute intervals. I may repeat week 3 as to build some confidence.

I need to pick a race to run. There are a couple in October that jive with my schedule, but I don't know if I will be able to run the whole 3 miles by then without having to walk any of it. So it is looking like I may need a November race. There are a couple of them on the Hermes website, but with limited info.

I will, however, need to break out my passport and schlep over to the East Side to visit the boys at Second Sole to get a new pair of kicks to run in. They are good eggs there and their major concern is pairing my deformed, wide, flat, pronating feet in the shoes that are right for them...meaning they never would have sold me the ratty assed Nikes that make me feel like I've been knee-capped by the time I'm done running in them. The Mizunos are taking a beating and need some friends.

Long story short...I have stopped hating running even though I am wicked slow. I need to pick a race to run and get some new shoes.

Dans la Maison

From the news of the "About Damn Time" bureau...I am home for the next two weeks. No work related traveling for this girl. However, because no good deed goes unpunished, I do have weeks of reporting to get caught up on. I think it is a fair trade off.

There are rules...

...about wearing dirty librarian glasses. You may not wear them, would be Republican VP, and try to ban books from public libraries!!! You are hereby required to wear old lady glasses, surrender your Karen from "Will and Grace" hair piece, keep your mitts away from my uterus, and go back to the hellmouth from which you came.

Less=More

To your immediate left if 50 pounds. If you add 2 to that then you have how much less of me there is.

As a follow up on the afore mentioned shoes that I was going to gift myself when I got here...I tried them on at Nordstroms today and they pinched like a mother. I must go back to the drawing board on this one...maybe I need the Burberry ballet flats.

News of the "Who the Hell is this Girl"?

I have decided to start running....I will wait for the hysterical laughter to subside before going on. I really have started to actually run; point a to point b. I have some friends who are some pretty hard core runners, and good on them for that. I don't think I am going to go that far...the constant swearing that takes place during said runs leads me to believe that isn't happening.

Since I am crazy task oriented girl, I am training for a 5k or 3 miles. Nothing too outrageous, but enough that I have to work my way up to it. My goal is to be able to string 3 miles together by October 19th and help out an non-profit whose work I am familiar with and am supportive of. This year is turning out to be quite the surprise. I haven't pegged one single, solitary (intentional redundancy) twist or turn that this year has taken; and that my friends is pretty damn awesome!

Julies United Weekend

This is me and my friend, Julie...not me and, a very nice lady in a sassy hat that we were sitting by at the Toledo Mud Hens v Richmond Braves game on Saturday night. Because we are awesome we found ourselves in the middle of a little adventure...the story is below.

For reasons unknown by me the Braves managed to win despite my attendance; although J2 believes that the unseemly 6-1 loss by the Mud Hens was her doing as she too was in attendance. After enjoying a complementary display of fireworks, which we were told was going to happen regardless of our attendance…but we beg to differ, we went to locate J2’s gray car at the lot where we had left it. And this dear reader is where our adventure began…

It should be duly noted that Fifth/Third Field, or 1 and 2/3 Field was approximately 5.9 miles from our palatial digs at the Toledo Hilton, thank you work. We made the opposing turn onto Washington Rd as to place us in the correct position to make it back to said palatial digs. We knew something was amiss as we passed the art museum and the glass house in lieu of the zoo. This however did not dissuade us; we were strong in our conviction that we knew how to find our way home. Man alive were we wrong!!!

Upon passing the posh University area, posh being a relative term to where the night led, we found ourselves in the bowels of Toledo. While listening to our inner compasses, in hindsight a terrible idea, we were treated to some very colorful night life. As we found ourselves traveling down Monroe we spied the ultimate multi-tasker, a convenience shop were one could accrue beer and lottery tickets; as well as cash a check, pay your utilities, and redeem your WIC. We also had our doors blown off by a Caddy with an eye catching two-tone purple and green optic finishes and proceeded to pass a house where we could buy designer clothes and hair weaves. We should also state at this time that we scorned I-75 on at least 3 separate occasions.

Once again listening to our faulty inner compasses, we turned down Detroit thinking we had passed it on our way to the baseball game…which had now ended a half an hour ago. While travelling down Detroit we came upon an oasis in the darkness, The Platinum Gentlemen’s Club…which was housed in a plaza where you could get dentures made, tattoos and piercings, and automobile insurance (for either Michigan or Ohio). Dazzled by the lights of The Platinum we were unable to stay on Detroit and made our way to Telegraph Road. Yes dear reader it would be the same Telegraph Road (US-24) that runs through Detroit.

After the comedic break down at the Michigan border and texting of a Central Time Zone compatriot (still waiting on that text back), an hour after the baseball game ended, we stumbled upon the nirvana that was Alcatraz Gentlemen’s Club. Alcatraz was resplendent in its chic exterior and trucker friendly parking lot. As we went further down US-24 convinced that I-75 would miraculously appear…it failed to.

At this point we would be remiss to not acknowledge the contribution of Nicole at Meijer; where we stopped for h2o, a lottery ticket, and a map. Nicole’s directive was stay on US-24 and indeed I-75 will appear after a mystery Wal-Mart. We’re still looking for that Wal-Mart and I-275 was found. Luckily, we are no Cinderellas as we would have been in grave trouble as the clock had passed midnight.

Thirty miles later and the revelation that we were ravenous; we made our way back into Ohio…passing every damn street we had previously driven on, much to our eternal chagrin and dismay. We finally made our way back to the turnpike to go one exit as to be back to where our day had started 10 hours ago. Mercifully, we had a hard copy of the directions to the hotel in the car. Thank you J2 for leaving that vital information in the car. A brief detour to the Kroger down the street from the hotel brought us a reward of M&Ms and a lottery ticket for our haggard souls. We pulled into the parking lot of our hotel at least 70 miles and two and a half hours later. Upon entering the hotel we stumbled upon the hotel shop where the actual Peanut Butter M&Ms we wanted but couldn’t find in a grocery store were found.

3 Day Breast Cancer Walk

My friend Julie, who I lovingly refer to as Julie, not me, is a stud. She is quite simply one of the coolest people I know. The picture above is of the closing ceremonies at the Chicago 3 Day Breast Cancer walk. She walked 60 miles in 3 days to help rid the world of breast cancer.

My friend, Janna, who is both studdly and standing beside me while I was taking this picture, completed her second 3 day last weekend in Boston. Former bordermart compatriot, Anita walked Cleveland. My girl Becky will be hiking through Philly as well.

I'm thinking about joining in on one next year...most likely next October in a flat metropolis. Be forwarned...I will be hitting you up for money and you will give it to me because every one loves boobs!

Braves Game or Why Must You Always Break My Heart

So a million years ago, really it was only the beginning of the month, I went to see the my beloved Atlanta Braves play. They are currently in the middle of airing out the joint and there were only 2 actual starters on the day I saw them...but it means nothing to me! My love for them is a strong as ever.

I would like to thank my benefactor for the best tickets of my life and the gratis parking. We were right behind the Brewer's dugout. Had Larry been playing that day...he could have heard me calling him Larry. BTW...the Braves got clobbered that day. Between C.C. Sabathia having every one's number and Prince Fielder going yard twice; there was no joy in Mudville.

Honey, I'm Home!!!

Finally! It took me three weeks to do so . Work has been brutal. You know things have been bad when I am excited to go an hang out/babysit new staff.

I have been desperately in love with the Olympics...per usual. I will find some time this week to catch up on all of my wacky adventures.

Just Sad...

Skip Caray, long-time Braves broadcaster and one of the voices of my childhood, died today. I couldn't even try to put a number on how many summer nights were spent in front of the TV for a 7:05 first pitch with my homemade score card while Skip and Pete Van Wieren called half of the game before going over to radio.

I've Been Tagged (Twice actually)

Apparently I've been tagged by both Becky and Julie (not me). Generally I don't pay any attention to these things, but I am making an exception because the afore mentioned women are oh so very awesome.



5 things found in your bag:

More lip product than one woman needs-between the balms, Carmex, and 20 odd lip glosses and sticks...did I mention that they are all pretty much the same color.

Cell phone and Q-must be in touch with the world

iPod-Makes all of the driving and flying tolerable

Some sort of granola bar, piece of string cheese, or fruit-Never know when lunch is going to be and blood sugar levels must be maintained!

My "Coinbeast" change purse-It just makes me laugh every time I use it.


5 favorite things found in your bedroom:

My bed-it doesn't have any bells or whistles on it...but I'm in it so rarely these days that I love it all the more when I am there.

The kitchen table-It's late 40's/early50's red and white enamel. It was in my Grandparent's kitchen and so many of my favorite memories took place at it. I now use it as my desk.

Nightstand-It houses the books I want to read and my favorite picture of me and my dad from when I was a little girl.

Louisville Slugger-Lives under the bed and serves as the SSS, singleton security system.

The Books-Ones from my childhood, ones from college, ones that I love, ones that I still need to read.


5 things I have always wanted to do:

Write the great American novel and then be done with it a la Harper Lee

Sing the National Anthem at a major sporting event.

Drive across America

Receive an Honorary Degree from somewhere

Be able to turn a raise down


5 things I am currently into:

Finishing up my school openings-It may drive me to edge but I love my job!

Training for my 1st 5K

Cleaning out my closet-It's a nice feeling to get rid of the clothes that are too big!

Playing Scrabble on Facebook-I welcome all challengers

Getting to see my peeps when I am home on the weekends


5 people I want to tag

Shannon

Jessica

Victoria

Holly

Random Stranger #23

Dear Delta:

Please stop fucking up my luggage!!!

Every time that I fly you, there is some sort of issue. The last time you thought it was appropriate to send my bag home, in the middle of a blizzard, when I had told you numerous times that I wasn't going there.

This time you thought it would be awesome to annihilate the front pocket of said bag. When I went to bring said destruction to your attention; you acted like you were doing me some sort of favor by offering to have it repaired. You fucked it up...you fix it...you are not doing me a favor...a favor would have been not fucking it up in the first place.

Cheers,
Jules

Too Much...

...of everything. I am getting ready to embark on a 3 week business trip tomorrow. I leave my hovel tomorrow and don't return to said hovel until the 15th. That sucks.

Work is crazy right now. It is just this side of that special kind of overwhelming that can lead one to be paralyzed with anxiety. My immediate co-workers are super helpful and supportive. Outside of our inner circle, it get extremely dicey. It's so bad with some people that I am convinced that they are working against me...and I'm not being paranoid about that.

Since work is consuming all aspects of my life, thanks work; I'm not working out like I am accustomed too. I really need to find the time...no matter how long a day it has been, to make sure that I get some kind of exercise in. I would help the stress situation and the "me kicking my ass for not working out" situation. Eating has been OK...must not consume french fries this week...that's really the only thing I have gone off the rails on.

I have to go pack my suitcase. I've been putting it off all night...

Shout Out

I frequently get peeps commenting on the cartoons that I post here. A majority of them are by the fabulous Natalee Dee. She is a cartoonist out of Columbus, Ohio. She makes me laugh daily with her depraved sense of humor. You should check her out at http://www.nataliedee.com.

I Want One

This week isn't going so well and it is only Tuesday. I've had an 1100 square feet of carpet go missing. I've had AT&T tell me they are available everywhere I need but in one little town; where school starts next Friday. Other departments are making me crazy because they are so unorganized. I have 3 more weeks of this...I don't know if I am going to make it.

60 hours

My 60 hour furlough from working has started. I know that it is sad that my time away from work consists from 7:00 on Friday night to 7:00 on Monday morning. It is what it is. I keep reminding myself that things will eventually calm down...eventually.

Not My President Strikes Again

I too would like to be able to invoke executive privilege. I wouldn't need to use it for outing a CIA agent. I would use it when accounting questions my expense reports and when people ask me what I think when they meant for the question to be rhetorical.

Shattered

I feel just like my rental car windshield. I'm doing my job as best I can, but when you keep throwing things at me they will eventually start breaking me down. You throw enough things and the cracks can't support things anymore and things will give way; leaving me covered in tiny little shards some that I can see and some that I can't. As far as yesterday's fiasco with the road debris...I'm fine. Work...day to day.

What the Hell

Apparently am training for the Olympics...Is brain fucking an exhibition sport in Beijing? It kept me up last night when I needed to be the girl up at 6 this morning to get myself to the airport. Work is killing me right now; that in combination with the normal swirl of insecurities and crazy makes my brain a DMZ. It is scary up in my head. I think I need an escort to wonder about in my own thoughts. This can't be good for a girl.

Why I Loathe Shopping

I attempted to go shopping yesterday. I was an exercise in frustration and futility. Apparently in my universe I can loose nearly 40 lbs and not change sizes according to every freaking store that I walked into. That combined with the fact that no talls were tall enough was just enough to send me over the edge. I found one article of clothing that is made that I can actually wear...a pencil skirt, a piece of clothing that seems to allow for the fact that I am, minus my huge rack, one of the least curvy women you will ever meet. Too bad the matching jacket was made for someone with no shoulders and a bird chest. One of these days I will find clothes that fit me and then I will have to find something else to bitch about.

One Goal Down...

...at least four more to go.

These are the custom made Nikes that I bought myself when I reached my first goal, which was 30 pounds. They aren't flashy but they are awesome. I love them for numerous reasons: they are the actual size shoe I wear, 10.5, they are are super comfortable and supportive at the same time, and they are a testament to hard work and determination.

I love the last reason best.

ATL...

...is the airport code for Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport; the busiest airport in the world 0r where I spend a majority of my Friday afternoons and part of my Monday mornings. It is an incredibly large place; it is approximately a mile long, vertically, if you choose to walk from the ticket counter, through security, and to the furthest terminal, E as in Echo.

I almost always fly out of the D as in David terminal...it really should be D as in Delta, but that would confuse the hell out of some people. I always walk to and fro Gate D8. It's just about a mile. It's a pleasant walk. It gives me a chance to stretch my legs once I've landed or burn off some ire before I leave for home. It also makes for great people watching.

If you walk from security to terminal A there is 300 feet of really awesome sculpture from artists that were born in Zimbabwe. They are just out in the middle of the aisle between the moving sidewalks. They are all amazing, enormous examples of what some vision, patience, skill, and a large piece of rock can become. It is also nice to see something so beautiful come out of a country that is experiencing so much strife these days.

This particular piece is called "The Conversation". It is once of my favorites. I vacillate between thinking it is representative of tribal elders telling oral histories or the three witches in Macbeth. Either way it is a remarkable piece of art.

I Like To Read..

That statement should come a zero percent surprise to anyone who has ever met me for a nanosecond. The truth of it is I love to read; always have always will.

I am currently reading the new Chuck Palahniuk novel Snuff. If you love Chuck you will think it is a good time. What's not to love about an adult film star aspiring to get it on with 600 men and discovering whether or not she ends up being the star of her own snuff film. I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

So I'm sitting in the airport today reading my book enjoying my company paid for coffee beverage; and three different people felt the need to inform me that I'm not reading the most ladylike book. Two people thought I was reading porn. The last guy thought it was weird until I told him that the guy who wrote Fight Club wrote this book as well. It caught me completely off guard. None of the people who said anything appeared to have any chromosomal defects. It was totally random.

After the third person said something to me, I looked around my gate to see what other things people were reading. Teenagers reading the vampire books, Twilight is the only one I know the name of. Soccer moms reading the weekly gossip magazines. Business men with their mysteries. The only book that I saw being read that even crossed my radar screen was some dude reading a self-help book, and even then I only though he had chutzpah for reading it out in public. At no point did I feel the need to accost any of my fellow reading brethren. I was just happy to see people with the nose buried deep inside their books.

Team Player

I work in a small department, there are only 6 of us. We all get along swimmingly. 4 of us travel a great deal, although I am the travel champion. When you travel as much as we do, there are times where you have to ask for some help. I try to do as many things as I can no matter where I am road or office.

I also try to be very timely with getting needed information to people as they need it, preferably before they need it. I try to help out others when I have down time, it's called December. So, I have some work equity built up.

Long story short...If I am asking for help; it is because I actually need it. Don't give me shit for it. Just take care of it for me. I don't give you shit when you need things "right now". There's is absolutely no reason to be a massive bitch about.

Apparently...

...I rule!

I'm back to Georgia for work again this week. It's going to be a long one...I have at least 3 meetings a day and some of those days require a 2+ hour drive from Atlanta.

Work kicked my ass last week. I was dealing with left-over evil from the week before. I'm talking to you Centro Watts!!! Then my construction bids were high and that set off the corporate jungle drums! The bottom line was that because new corporate policies have made my life increasingly difficult...I have no leverage to negotiate with. Things that were no problem in the past are now land mines.

But out of now where on Friday the skies opened and things stopped sucking. One of the counties that I have been working very closely with, these are some insanely nice people, saved me. They've decided to add night school for their second semester. It was a big score for me, as I'm no marketing person, and I'm the person that they have spent the most (read ALL) time with. So now I'm off the shit list.

I'm sure all of the corporate people are thrilled for their financial windfall...of which I don't expect to see anything. Yet, I am more excited for this school district up in NW Georgia that has one of the most forward thinking superintendents I've met in almost 9 years of working with districts. They are doing whatever they can to help their students be successful and earn their diplomas without having to decide what is more important, helping out their families or getting their education. Helping kids succeed no matter what situation they are in...what a novel idea!

You will be mine...

...Oh yes, you will be mine!!!

Thank you Cole Haan for marrying my two shoe loves together, Mary Janes and Sneakers. Yes ladies and gentlemen there is a fuck-me-pump with the heart of a running shoe in it. And yes boys, that would be a 3.25 inch heel on them. I like being 6'4. It pretty much guarantees that I'm the tallest person in a room.

I believe they will make an excellent to me from me in another 15 pounds. That would make 50 for those of you keeping score at home.

I do not...

...go to the gym to impress anyone other than myself. I go strictly for me. I go to the gym to build muscle, burn fat and sweat. I do not go to the gym to be sociable, although I have some gym friends that I exchange pleasantries with. I go to the gym to work off the massive amounts of stress that I am under from my job. Gym time is the hour or so a day that is all mine.

I do not get "pretty" to go to the gym; if anything I do the opposite. I wash my make-up off. I pull my hair back into as austere a ponytail as I can. I wear clothes that are utilitarian. I take off the nasty librarian glasses.

So listen here asshat...Just because I have my iPod on doesn't mean I can't hear you. If you want to see jiggling tits and girls in skimpy outfits...take your lame ass 20 minute work out to a titty bar. I'll spend my two hours working on something you'll never be able to get near!!!

Happy Fatherless Day!!!

Tomorrow is my least favorite holiday of the year. I used to enjoy it. There were cook-outs and presents; a good time was had by all. Then again it's hard to celebrate Father's Day when you are sans the celebrated.

I have spent the past month being bombarded by messages in my in-box reminding me to not forget Father's Day. Little innocuous reminders of someone I have lost...like I would ever forget Father's Day. I haven't forgotten my dad for one day of the 12+ years that he's been dead. I don't need some dumb ass e-mail from Hallmark to remind me.

If my dad were still around; I would have bought him a card very similar to the one on the left...and we would have made great fun of it for being overly cheesy. I miss the little things like that...but then again I miss everything.

Just Sad...

Yesterday I was all excited because I was going to be home by 3. Things didn't go according to plan. There was a 6 hour ground stop on all Midwest airports from ATC for severe storms...never mind that it was beautiful where I was.

While waiting in the airport, the news broke that Tim Russert had passed away. So I spent the following time glued to a TV monitor trying not to openly weep in the middle of the airport because I didn't want to appear to be nuts or that upset that my flight was delayed. It just made me terribly sad. He was fine one minute and gone the next...much like my dad. It was strangely comforting to watch the talking heads and famous people that Wolff Blitzer was talking to be just as caught of guard as I was.

I feel awful for his family, as they were still off celebrating his son's graduation. I feel more than awful for his son, as I am all too familiar at to how badly that sucks. I also feel bad for America. Who is going to do their homework and ask the hard questions when they need to be asked, and not be a jerk about it. Who will bust out a white board to break down the electoral college because most people had forgotten how it work? It's just sad...

Maybe...

...I'll just date myself.


It would make things simpler. There would be no hang ups about the fact that I'm generally in town for 60 hours a week. There would be no clairvoyant observations like, "Wow! You really are that tall!"


I know what I like and don't like. I had a Jules-centric day today. I did have brunch with Jess, but after that I spent the day by myself. I took myself to go see Sex and the City; an excellent time was had by all. I spent some dinero on "Amazon Suit Improvement", think of it as self DIY, at Sephora and Victoria's Secret. Just a little to me from me love; plus none of my bras fit any more. Follow all of that up with big, icy glass of sugar free/fat free love from Starbucks and it was a great day.


Maybe this is the time for me to take care of me, and no longer wait around for someone else to validate my worth. Being 33 is crazy...it is like I finally found the damn users manual on how to live.

What the hell...

I would like it duly noted that if mind fucking things to death was an Olympic sport; I would win the gold medal in it.

I would love to figure out how to keep the hot, molten crazy side of my brain from leeching into the awesome, smart part of my brain. One of these days I will figure out how to keep the crazy from taking over. Until then, there is always hope that mind fucking gets its due in London come 2012.

They've Been Ordered

In 4 weeks they will be mine. I know that they aren't flashy, but they are good every shoes. A daily reminder of just how far I have come.

Life is...

...Full of unexpected surprises. Just when you think you've got a handle on things; you never know what is going to come your way. Life's awesome like that.

News Flash...

I am capable of having a life. This normally wouldn't be a news flash. I am a sociable girl. I am gregarious when needed. It is just that when you only get 60 hour at home on the weekend because of your crazy work schedule; it puts a damper on one's ability to be a social butterfly.

Since I am home this week in combination with the three day weekend; I haven't had to cram a weeks worth of interactions into 2 days. Today I got to have brunch with Jess at our absolute favorite hang-out for brunch. The only thing comparable to her company was the fact that the inagural H2Omelon Margarita of the summer were consumed. There are v. few things in this world that are better than freshly juiced H2Omelon, tequila, and a drop of triple sec. Just looking at the picture of it makes me happy.

Tomorrow, I will continue the trend of having a life.

There will be movie going and Bar-B-Queing with Joel and Claudette. I could get used to this "having a life" unfortunately for me it is going to end up being a fleeting notion.

Airport Hell

I think there needs to be some sort of ranking of travelers at the airport. To be fair there should be a test.

Sample Questions:
1. Do I need to take my shoes off to get through security? y/n

2. Can I tote my gallon of H2O in my purse? y/n

3. Do I need to hang on to my boarding pass? y/n

4. Because You've managed to spawn; you can use said troglodyte as an excuse to jump the no longer effective frequent flier line. y/n

5. Can a airline charge you for checking extra bags? y/n

It is mother of all amateur hours at the "airport du ATL" today. Stupid people don't deserve to fly.

Starvin' Marvin

Man alive have I been hungry this week. Although, I am continuing my "Amazing Shrinking Amazon" progress. I have absolutely no idea what has brought this about. Let's look at the usual and unusual suspects.

1. Stress

Work has been just this side of "cruel and unusual" as of late. I am working my flat Polish ass off. There's the whole 7 out of 8 weeks on the road thing combined with the 10 centers that need to be opened for the first day of school. Top that off with the crazy amount of driving that it takes to get to my three rural sites. I am the walking embodiment of stress.

2. Boredom

Travelling for work is neither fun nor glamorous. It totally messes with your social life and makes you terribly lonely sometimes. Reading a book and eating dinner at the bar of a restaurant (bartenders tend to be chatty so it's almost like talking to someone you know) gets old. Sitting in a hotel room by your lonesome gets old. Being bored and alone is a dangerous combination for me; as it allows me ample time to brain fuck things to death. My brain is 65% brilliant, 10% full of stupid shit, and 25% scary.

3. Working Out

It may be totally possible that all of the exercise that I am partaking in may actually need to be fueled. As unimaginable as it seems; I could actually need food for its intended purpose, to fuel the amazon suit.

That's a scary ass thought...after 33 years I may be actually learning that stuffing my pie hole with crap doesn't make me any less stressed or bored. Craziness! I tell ya...Craziness!

Seven for Eight

Looks like a great hitting performance in a double header. It is also the number of weeks that I have been travelling for work.

People that spend more time on the road than me
1. Cross Country Truckers
2. Touring Musicians

I may actually get to be home the week after next. However, I'll be the girl not holding her breath.

On the Road Again

I have travelled over 1200 miles since Monday. WTF is up with that?

"Cause Oscar Mayer Has A Way"

As I was driving up to Chattanooga; I saw the Weinermobile. I instantaneously acted like a kid. I honked my horn and waved. Then my Blackberry rang ruining a perfectly awesome moment.

I Can...

...order my new Nikes!

Crocker Recipe Part Deux

I haven't put a crocker recipe up in a while. Granted I haven't made anything in my crocker for a while. Here is my recipe for the world's easiest fancy chicken dish.

Chicken with Artichoke Hearts

Serves 6

Points 6 and I think it's Core

6 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts

1/2 cup Onion, chopped

12 Garlic Cloves, minced

1/2 cup Reduced Sodium Chicken Stock

2 tsp Dried Rosemary, crushed

Juice and Zest of 1 Lemon

1/2 tsp pepper

9 oz Artichoke Hearts, frozen or canned (drain first)

Place chicken in the bottom of your crocker. Dump onions, garlic, and artichoke hearts in. Mix everything else together and pour over chicken and veggies. Let rip on HIGH for 6-7 hours. I serve over couscous and garnish with extra lemon slices to make it look fancy.

I Heart the Swoosh

I have spent the past 3 months working on shrinking the only part of myself that I'm not all that fond of...my weight. It is something that I have always struggled with and something that I will always have to give thought to. In those 3 months I have lost nearly 30 lbs, 27 to be exact.

As a to Jules from Jules, one of my favorite kinds of gifts, I have designed myself a new pair of kicks for working out. Unfortunately, the good people at "the swoosh" won't allow me to show you all my handiwork. I will tell you they are sweet...two tone gray and navy. They will be mine in 3 lbs and 4 to 6 weeks. I can't wait.

My House...

...is a very, very, very fine house.

I am super excited that I get to go home tomorrow; granted that I don't get to leave until 4:00. I haven't been home for 11 days. I get sleep in my own bed and get caught up on Robin Hood from the BBC I actually have plans for Saturday night, I'm catching a show at the Beachland. It will actually appear that I have a life.

Then I have to leave again on Monday morning...I'm trying not to think about that part.

I Heart ESPN

I would like to thank the "world wide leader in sports". You keep me such great company during commute from hell season. You're there for me in the morning with Mike and Mike. I can enjoy Dana and Jay on the artist formerly known as Cold Pizza if I have late meeting and am working out of my room. I spend the afternoons with Jim Rome(you should always wear you glasses), the writers of Around the Horn, and personal Jules' favorites Tony and Wilbon.

I would also like to thank you for Thursday night soccer. I'm sure that the rating for it aren't so hot, but I appreciate your dedication. I most grateful that you have given up your stalker like obsession with David Beckham...it was getting a little creepy.

12 year ago today....

...my dad died. The night before I tried to convince him to go to a Dave Matthews Band concert with me and my friends in Pittsburgh. The next morning he mowed the grass and had a heart attack.

I really want to break out all of the windows in my hotel room and down a fifth of Jameson. Seeing as how that kind of behavior is frowned upon...I won't do any of those things. But I really, really want to. I guess I'll just cry as I do some work...slightly more acceptable behavior.

Who is the Queen?

I am the queen.

I had this meeting with a district that I am working with to open a couple of centers for this fall. After learning that I was the first person that they had met from any part of the company and being totally appalled by that...I totally impressed them with my wealth of knowledge. Long story short they are now looking into having both a night summer school program. That was all me. Where's my bonus for that deal? Because nothing tell me that I am a valued and valuable employee like extra money in the paycheck.

Monday Morning Commute

My Monday morning commute take 710 miles. That isn't what sucks. What sucks is that it eats up half of my day, more if the weather is questionable. That combined with hike to almost Chattanooga would explain why I just decided to stop working at 9:45 pm. It's not like I'm caught up. I'm just sick of working.

10%

I have lost 10% of myself since the beginning of February. That is the equivalent of 108 sticks of butter, which is a pretty disgusting visual.

What does that 10% mean? It means various and sundry things. It means that my crap pancreas has been doing it's job a little better. I means my leg joints don't make as much noise. Tragically, because I' so freaking tall...it doesn't mean that I've dropped numerous clothing sizes, but I'm no longer shoe horned into the clothes I own.

I'm rather pleased with myself for accomplishing this. What I am most proud of is that the vast majority of this lost me took place while traveling for work...which means eating out for almost every meal and convincing myself that going to "not my gym" is a great idea.

It's funny all of this lost me is making me feel more like me.

I hate you....

un-named suburban Georgia school district. Thank for the wild goose chase. I appreciate that I wasted 2 weeks waiting on your input. Then I went and found you awesome spaces for your center...Only to find out that apparently you don't know where you district boundaries are. Way to go geniuses...now I'm three weeks behind where I want to be.

Exercise in Futility...or How We Tried to Make Fondant

While I was on vacay at my brother's, we attempted to make fondant from scratch. This exercise in futility was born out of Jay's new found love of cake decorating. So, Jayzer went on-line and found a recipe for fondant on Wiki-DIY.

Recipe for Fondant
1 bag o Marshmallows
2 lbs of powdered sugar
Some H2O
Flavoring if so desired

The directions are pretty straight forward. Nuke the marshmallows and then knead in the powdered sugar. This somehow turned into a hot mess. It takes forever knead in two lbs of powdered sugar...even if there are 4 sets of hands doing it. Then once you let the stuff sit for a minute...it needs more sugar.

The most insulting part of this process was that when we were done the crap tasted like circus peanuts!!!

This could possibly work in real life. I wouldn't do it by hand. Jay and I figured out that you could make it with the dough hook in a v. strong stand mixer.

When all was said and done there was much laughing and eating of naked cupcakes.

Biddy and Amber

That is my brother, Jay, and sister-in-law, Amber. I call my brother Biddy for some reason that I can't remember...I just do.

Vacay

I got back from my brother's on Monday...but I'm just writing about it now. Vacation was much needed; as was some family time.

The boys are giants. I just saw them at Christmas and the are so very different from just four months ago. Ian is a head taller since then. He's such a funny little guy; he seems so much older than 7. Dee's getting bigger as well, but he's totally a little kid. He's square dancing in the kindergarten program and is v.v. excited for it.

It will be weird once they leave for Japan. I don't get to see them all that often...I make to NC at least twice a year and the boys change so much during that time. It's going to be weird to only get to see them maybe once every two years.

One More Day...

Until I get to hang out with these guys. I am super excited for 4 days of Wii bowling , homework helping, freeze tag playing, monkey barring, and cupcake decorating.

It's OK for you to be jealous.

Who Loves Frequent Flier Miles...

I do...I do!!

I just spent the majority of my afternoon booking my travel for the next three weeks. It took for freakin' ever. Trying to find reputable hotels near some of the Hootervilles that I stay in isn't a time friendly undertaking; but I am airplane-ed, bedded, and automobiled.

My wacky brother

My brother is a one of a kind type of guy. He's in the Air Force, married and has two boys. He can appear to be a little intimidating with all of his tattoos. He's a don't judge a book by its cover type.

Jay goes to parent teacher conferences and school plays. He's a very talented artist. He does homework with his sons and takes them to the library. He's in the process of learning Japanese. Not what you'd expect from a guy who looks like Buddy Holly's evil biker twin; but that's my brother.


Jayzer's new obsession is cake decorating. It doesn't strike me as completely odd; our mom is a insanely talented cake decorator in her own right. He made cupcakes for Dee Dee's, youngest son's, birthday and has been going strong ever sense. When he called me last night he informed me that while I am down to visit them at the end of this week, we are going to make fondant from scratch. Apparently it is a two person job and I'm the second person. He is now inventing reasons to make and decorate cupcakes, his preferred medium.

He wants to take a class at the Michael's down the street from the base. I may have that be my birthday present to him this year. The though of my punk rock brother in a cake decorating class with the soccer moms and the blue hairs amuses me to no end. I may need to be the catalyst for that to take place.

Thank Ya Jeezus!!

I am home this week...to be truthful I am home for 3 days and then I am taking some time off to go and see my brother's tribe before they leave for Japan.

This will probably be the longest stretch that I will be home for until after the school year has started. That depresses me to no end. Needless to say work is very busy right now. I have 10 centers to open up on my own in the metro ATL; and ties to 11 in South Georgia.

I will spend my 3 working days getting caught up on reporting...so that I can be behind again when I get back to work on Tuesday. It is my least favorite part of my job. The reporting that I have to do is basically so that people who don't know me can see how efficient I am for the salt mine wages they pay.

Note of Disclosure...The above cartoon is a 100% accurate representation of what I wear to work when I am home; although I prefer track pants to velour sweats.

Diet Brown

I caved this week and gave in to a Diet Brown (all sugar free colas) craving. I have seriously cut back on the Diet Brown. I went from two or three a day to maybe one a week. My dentist told me I may want to lay off of it. Apparently it was eating my teeth. So I cut down on my Diet Brown consumption.

This weeks travels sucked big time and I figured that if the worst thing I consumed was some Diet Brown then I was ahead of the game. It probably didn't help that I was in Atlanta and everywhere you turn there's a Diet Brown billboard calling out to me like a siren.

Lunch with my past

I had to schlep up to what I will forever refer to as the Georgia side of Chattanooga for work today. We are opening two new centers up there and I had to go look for sites; but that is not what this is about.

I know that is not the most politically correct place to eat; but as my friend David, one of the gayest men I have ever known, once said "Jules just say a little prayer for them and then enjoy your dinner." I grab take away from Cracker Barrel quite a bit when I'm on the road. I can grab the grilled chicken w/ green beans and a salad, be low in points and my have nosh still be tasty.

Since I was heading back to the ATL take away wasn't an option so I ate in. As I was sitting there at the table enjoying my diet brown w/ lemon and trying to solve the peg game, which I never have thank you, an overwhelming since of loss came over me. It took a minute for it to dawn on me what my malfunction was. Stopping for lunch at CB was one of those things that was a Jules and dad thing. Since I've been so busy for work; I hadn't noticed that the 14th Annual Jules Day,the anniversary of my dad dying, is bearing down on me.

I have to pay attention to things or I'm going to end up tearing up like some crazy person while ordering lunch. My dad would frown upon that and as a general rule so do I.