Dear Target...

I believe that we have a situation here. I think our relationship may be a wee bit unhealthy for one of us. Now in all fairness to you; we are no where near the abusive relationship that I am currently in with my country...but it isn't good.

I would very much like one of the economists that is saying that consumer spending is down to follow me in your well lit aisles. There is no downward trending there...just good old fashioned purchasing of goods. Plus, since I am taking a break from using the credit cards...it is all cash all the time.

Did I need a cowl neck sweater? Maybe? Did I need two of them is very similar shades of green? Probably not...but they were only $16.99. I really didn't need the $12.99 fleece jacket...but come on $12.99 and it can be added to the clothes that actually fit me category (the shrinking amazon thing is a pain...shrinking good...nothing that fits bad). A girl can never have too many pair of socks; especially when she travels as much as I do. Since the weather has decided to be fall like, I really did need a pair of running/training pants. I needed gum. I needed a Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte. I believe that there is a pattern here.

I did, however, need a new pair of black boots. Apparently, my feet are shrinking. I have no idea what the hell that is all about. Seeing as how the boots that I really desire are ten times as much as the ones I bought from you...I'm really truly ahead of the game. Plus, they are fierce and will assist me in much ass kicking.

Target...I know that I will never be able to break up with you. I doubt that we could even survive a break...I wouldn't do well. Could you help me out in some way? Could you at least put the things that I decide that I need on sale? Quit pandering to the kids and their parents...they will never love you like I do.

Regards,
Jules