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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Eating Dis-Order

I have not had a good food day today. I listened to the voice in my head that wants grease flavored with artificial everything and minute traces of what the USDA considers meat in the most generous definitions of the word.

That voice brought a friend. That voice wanted more than the one square of good chocolate that I had been planning for. That voice kept reminding me that if it eat faster all of this would be over sooner.

Battling the voices makes me tired. Winning makes me tired...Losing makes me tired. I had to take a nap to reset my brain. It seems to have worked. I ate a Boca burger on an English Muffin for supper. That allowed me to hear the whisper in "the cheap seats" of my brain. That voice said "You can do this. You have all the tools you need within you."

1 comments:

Unknown said...

I am again waging some of this battle myself. I don't think that most people have what the medical/psych world would call a healthy relationship with food, do the best that you can and try again tomorrow. My own visual of it is that I walk a very fine line between the healthy side and not so healthy side, if I can keep my feet on that tightrope then I am good, when things are really bad for me it is not a line on the ground but a cliff that I am walking the edge of...line on the ground you can make one step off and come back, cliff you just fall off. Yell back at the voices that you don't want to hear!