Julies United Weekend

This is me and my friend, Julie...not me and, a very nice lady in a sassy hat that we were sitting by at the Toledo Mud Hens v Richmond Braves game on Saturday night. Because we are awesome we found ourselves in the middle of a little adventure...the story is below.

For reasons unknown by me the Braves managed to win despite my attendance; although J2 believes that the unseemly 6-1 loss by the Mud Hens was her doing as she too was in attendance. After enjoying a complementary display of fireworks, which we were told was going to happen regardless of our attendance…but we beg to differ, we went to locate J2’s gray car at the lot where we had left it. And this dear reader is where our adventure began…

It should be duly noted that Fifth/Third Field, or 1 and 2/3 Field was approximately 5.9 miles from our palatial digs at the Toledo Hilton, thank you work. We made the opposing turn onto Washington Rd as to place us in the correct position to make it back to said palatial digs. We knew something was amiss as we passed the art museum and the glass house in lieu of the zoo. This however did not dissuade us; we were strong in our conviction that we knew how to find our way home. Man alive were we wrong!!!

Upon passing the posh University area, posh being a relative term to where the night led, we found ourselves in the bowels of Toledo. While listening to our inner compasses, in hindsight a terrible idea, we were treated to some very colorful night life. As we found ourselves traveling down Monroe we spied the ultimate multi-tasker, a convenience shop were one could accrue beer and lottery tickets; as well as cash a check, pay your utilities, and redeem your WIC. We also had our doors blown off by a Caddy with an eye catching two-tone purple and green optic finishes and proceeded to pass a house where we could buy designer clothes and hair weaves. We should also state at this time that we scorned I-75 on at least 3 separate occasions.

Once again listening to our faulty inner compasses, we turned down Detroit thinking we had passed it on our way to the baseball game…which had now ended a half an hour ago. While travelling down Detroit we came upon an oasis in the darkness, The Platinum Gentlemen’s Club…which was housed in a plaza where you could get dentures made, tattoos and piercings, and automobile insurance (for either Michigan or Ohio). Dazzled by the lights of The Platinum we were unable to stay on Detroit and made our way to Telegraph Road. Yes dear reader it would be the same Telegraph Road (US-24) that runs through Detroit.

After the comedic break down at the Michigan border and texting of a Central Time Zone compatriot (still waiting on that text back), an hour after the baseball game ended, we stumbled upon the nirvana that was Alcatraz Gentlemen’s Club. Alcatraz was resplendent in its chic exterior and trucker friendly parking lot. As we went further down US-24 convinced that I-75 would miraculously appear…it failed to.

At this point we would be remiss to not acknowledge the contribution of Nicole at Meijer; where we stopped for h2o, a lottery ticket, and a map. Nicole’s directive was stay on US-24 and indeed I-75 will appear after a mystery Wal-Mart. We’re still looking for that Wal-Mart and I-275 was found. Luckily, we are no Cinderellas as we would have been in grave trouble as the clock had passed midnight.

Thirty miles later and the revelation that we were ravenous; we made our way back into Ohio…passing every damn street we had previously driven on, much to our eternal chagrin and dismay. We finally made our way back to the turnpike to go one exit as to be back to where our day had started 10 hours ago. Mercifully, we had a hard copy of the directions to the hotel in the car. Thank you J2 for leaving that vital information in the car. A brief detour to the Kroger down the street from the hotel brought us a reward of M&Ms and a lottery ticket for our haggard souls. We pulled into the parking lot of our hotel at least 70 miles and two and a half hours later. Upon entering the hotel we stumbled upon the hotel shop where the actual Peanut Butter M&Ms we wanted but couldn’t find in a grocery store were found.